


Love notes

by Marshy_17



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Fluff, M/M, No Apocalypse, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-08-19 08:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16530941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marshy_17/pseuds/Marshy_17
Summary: Feelings and attraction are confusing and unexpected at times. So when a note is left on Monty's locker he doesn't expect much to come of it.But Miller is cute, so maybe he's intrigued… but then getting to know him certainly doesn't help his possible crush go away.Maybe taking a chance is worth putting your heart on the line.





	1. Lovesick expressions

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally inspired by a random comic on Tumblr and it's been stuck in my head for so long, so I'm finally writing it! Just so you're aware I haven't watched the 100 in a long time, so I'm not up to date. Hope you like it anyway!

As I stare at my friend’s vacant, lovesick expression I internally sigh and roll my eyes. Following his eye line unsurprisingly leads me to Maya, a pretty girl in our Chemistry class who is Jasper’s current obsession. “Hey. Hey. Dude, are you even listening to a word I've been saying?” I ask, elbowing Jasper in the side to ensure I've caught his attention. “What? Sorry zoned out.” he replies sounding more distracted than apologetic. “Liar, you were staring at Maya again.” I accuse. “What can I say? She's a work of art.” He says dreamily. “Okay that's lame even for you.” I say unmoved by his analogy. “You don't think she's pretty?” he asks suddenly focused on what I’m saying. “She's fine, your just being a creep.” I tell him. “Damn right she's fiiine.” he says wiggling his eyebrows at me suggestively, to which I just sigh. “Creep.” I murmur, but I know I've already lost him as his gaze goes back to watching her.

“Dude. Just talk to her, then you could actually get to know her.” I say, even though it's been a repeated discussion over the last couple weeks and I've still had no luck in getting him to do anything less… stalkerish. “I can't! What if she doesn’t like me? And anyway it's not as simple as just going up and talking to her.” Jasper argues. “Actually I think it is.” I reply and glance up at the board to make sure that I have some idea of what the teacher’s rambling on about.

“How would you know? It's not like you go around talking to potential partners.” Jasper says, causing my stomach to drop in surprise. This being another of the topics we never quite see eye to eye on. So rather than delving into that rabbit hole in the middle of our chemistry lesson, I decide to just move on. “So you mean if I started dating someone, you'd have to listen to my advice?” I joke, although it feels flat to me. Jasper smirked, presumably having not noticed my change in mood. “Sure, if you start dating someone, I will have to take your advice, oh wise one.” He says while holding his hand out to seal the deal. His comments may be insensitive sometimes but that's mostly just his lack of a filter, so I smile and we shake to seal the deal.

“So what are we meant to be doing right now?” Jasper asks, looking bewildered when everyone is pushing their chairs out and moving around the room. “Maybe you should have been paying more attention.” I remark. “Yea yea I'll try, what are we doing though.” He agrees very unconvincingly. “Experiment. Help me collect this stuff.” I tell him gesturing to the list of materials needed on the board at the front of the room. “Cool.” He says calmly getting up and scanning the room. Luckily this explanation has  only made us a few minutes behind everyone else in the class and the teacher hasn't noticed our lack of activity. “I told you our seats at the back would come in handy at some point.” Jasper says grinning annoyingly. “Sure, sure, but come on we've gotta get this done.” I say while attempting to herd him around the room collecting beakers, pipettes and all the other items on our equipment list, but he irritatingly keeps his calm, unfazed grin on his face and refuses to speed up.

Once everything is together and set up, we read through the instructions again to make sure we know what we have to do, so hopefully nothing explodes. Again. “Oh, we're missing the acid, Jasp.” I state scanning the list. “I think it’s shared with the rest of the table, I'll grab it when the others have used it.” he says watching the other pairs on our table. Deciding to get the first stage done while we wait, we start measuring the quantities of everything out into the test tubes. Once they're all done, we check how far the others have got and see the acid is free at the moment. “I'll grab it.” Jasper says reaching over the table to get it. I pull my phone out and set it on the desk, opening up the timer app.

“Hey would we be able to borrow that when you're done, our table’s ran out already.” A voice asks from the other side of the table, but before I can process what's being asked of me everyone jumps from a crash of glass next to us. I leap back in surprise almost knocking my chair over. I realise it’s Jasper that is swearing profusely at a smashed beaker. I quickly add to the colourful language, when I realise that Jasper has not only smashed a glass beaker and spilled acid on our desk, but has also managed to drop the beaker precisely where my phone was sat on the desk. “I’m really sorry did I startle you?” a slightly panicked voice asked and I can't decide if I want to laugh or cry when I look up from my ruined phone to Maya’s face.

The teacher hurries over and shoos the small group that has now gathered away from the spill, making sure no one’s been caught by any of the acid or broken glass. “Right well you lot go and take your lab coats off and put them in a pile over there to be washed and go and wash your hands.” she orders, “Now!” she adds when people are slow to respond. At this everyone dutifully follows her instructions, while she attempts to safely clean up our mess.

Luckily the remainder of the lesson passes without further incidents, although we had to join up with other pairs, to ensure that we have some results to show for it. I feel sorry for the pair that gained Jasper, I bet they were terrified to let him near anything. But then that’s pretty normal for him. So I’m extremely relieved to walk out the classroom and away from that disaster.

Once at my locker, I rummage around in my bag trying to find my keys, but the world hates me today so of course they're buried right at the bottom. “Hey Buddy.” Raven calls cheerily as she smoothly leans against the lockers next to me. “For god’s sake, one of these days you're gonna give me a heart attack Raven.” I say having jumped at her sudden appearance. “Aww you love it really.” she teases, but I just give her an unimpressed glare in response. “Bad day?” she asks raising an eyebrow in concern. I just sigh, tempted to just let my head bang against the locker in defeat. “I'm so close to ditching last period and going home to watch netflix with a carton of ice cream.” I tell her and I see her joking smile drop and her face fill with concern. “Aww Monty.” she says, before she surprises me again by pulling me into a bone crushing hug.

It's a bit awkward.

I like to keep my personal bubble of space around myself and me and Raven have only known each other a year or so now, so I'm not as used to her form of affection. It’s nice though. I think.  

As we part I see her smirk is subtly returning, “Would it make you feel better if I told you there's a group of hotties watching us from over there?” she says nodding her head slightly to a space behind me. “No Raven, why would that make me feel better?” I ask and she just shrugs “Dunno, makes me feel better though.” she smirks. I shake my head at her but I can't stop a smile escaping at her ridiculousness. “Ha! See I knew I could get you to smile.” she cheers. “Yeah alright you got me” I admit “So who's looking at us then?”. Never one to be subtle, I watch her eyeing them up over my shoulder, while I try and resist turning around to stare at them or running away in embarrassment. “It’s Blake, Miller and Murphy.” she tells me without breaking her eye contact with them. “Who?” I sigh not recognising the names. “Hmm, ooh Bellamy Blake? You know, that guy Clarke constantly complains about?” Raven explains distractedly, finally tearing her eyes away from the group and looking at me. “Ooh him. Why would they be looking at us?” I ask confused. “Erm because we're smokin’ hot? Why wouldn't they be looking at us?” she teases. “How about because we're also probably the biggest nerds in this place?” I joke, “Exactly! We're the whole package. Smart and beautiful.” she says winking obnoxiously at me and I can't help but laugh.

“So now that you're in a good mood…” She starts and I sigh goodnaturedly “What do you want?” I ask, my mind whirring through a list of favours she might be wanting to demand from me. “Who says I want anything?” she teases and I just give her an unimpressed stare, “You will. So just spit it it out.” I say crossing my arms. “There's a party next weekend, which you are of course invited, and we were hoping you could bring some alcohol with you?” Raven says unashamedly. “So basically you want mine and Jasper’s moonshine?” I ask grinning, “Got it in one!” she teases, “Fine we'll see what we can do.” I agree, thinking we've probably got some left from our last experiment. To which she leaps up and down excitedly “Yes! You're the best Monty!” and we share a conspiratorial grin. “Well I should head off I suppose,” Raven sighs but then cheekily adds “Ooh and I like the fashion accessory.” as she flicks something plastic on the top of my head. My smile drops as I reach up and feel the bloody safety goggles from chemistry still perched on my head. “Why didn't you tell me?” I whine. “I thought Jasper had finally converted you to his weird fashion sense?” she says overly innocently, before shouldering her bag and sauntering off. “Traiter!” I call after her and just get a teasing wave over her shoulder in return.

As I watch her walk away my eyes glance over to the group of ‘hotties’ that Raven had clearly been talking about. They're all good looking I suppose, not that I have any desire to go over to them. One of them, Miller I presume, catches my attention slightly longer, looking slightly flustered with a beanie pulled low on his head and his hands stuffed deep into his hoodie pockets. As I'm watching him he turns slightly and catches my eye. A soft blush colours his cheeks when he realises and I decide he looks quite cute. Which is of course ruined when a smirk forms and he raises his eyebrows questioningly, eyes flicking up above my head at the goggles that are somehow still on my head. So I give in and let my head fall against my locker with a groan of defeat. Finally stuffing the offending object and my books in my locker and hurrying away. But I swear I can hear a slight chuckle from across the corridor.


	2. Paper planes

It was frustrating to say the least. Ever since I first set eyes on him he seemed to be able to make me flustered with just a look. Which wouldn't be so bad if he didn't keep popping up everywhere I go. Now that I recognise him, I notice him walking in the corridors, sat in the canteen with his friends, hanging around in the car park or by the entrance. I just can't get him out of my head and I don't understand why. 

He's casually lent against the lockers in the same area that I first saw him, so I wonder if his locker is over there and I've just never noticed him there before. He seems to feel my eyes on him and glances up. His lips quirk into a smile and he nods in recognition, causing me to blush. I stare at my shoes instead and focus on not making a fool of myself again as I walk over to my locker. 

Although because I was looking at the ground all the way, I didn't notice it until I was stood right in front of it, so maybe my plan backfired a bit. For a minute I just stare at it, before it processes in my head and I flush a bright red. Taped to my locker is a torn page from a notebook with:

_ ‘You're cute and I want to get to know you, so text me? _

_ XXXXX XXXXXX  _

_ (p.s. I like your shirt)’ _

Written on it in slightly messy handwriting. I look down at myself and see that I'm currently wearing my well-loved Pac man t-shirt under my slightly oversized hoodie and battered jeans. I hurriedly glance around the corridor, half expecting to see Jasper and the rest of the gang peeking around the corner sniggering, but it's lunch time so it's mostly deserted and anyone who is walking through, doesn’t even glance my way. Then my eyes snag on Miller. Who's still in the same position as before, except he appears to be trying to look engrossed in his phone. However, he must have been watching me in his peripheral vision as as soon as I'm looking at him, he meets my eyes, glances down at paper in my hands, then full on grins and winks at me. My face feels like it's on fire and my mouth is almost hanging open. His grin widens even more when he takes in what must be my very flustered, astonished face, and then leaves me staring at the space he was stood while he walks away.

I stare blankly at the space he had occupied for a touch too long before rapidly blinking to dispel the image of him winking at me. What on earth was going on. I read the note again, as if the letters might have rearranged themselves to say something else. But no. The same words stare back at me. I decide that no matter how long I stare at it, it's not going to change and that I've spent long enough staring at it like an idiot. So I fold it up and put it in my pocket, exchange my stuff in my locker and head to the canteen, my mind in a daze.

I slide into my usual seat, the rest of the gang already here. “Hey guys.” I say and get various greetings from everyone. “So as I was saying, we made a checklist of the things we needed to get done for our projects before the deadline in a few weeks and basically I am royally fucked. There's no way I'm going to be able to get it all done in time.” Clarke complains, sliding her head into her arms on the table. “You can do it babe,” Raven says encouragingly “Your art’s always incredible! You're gonna do brilliantly!”. This causes her to at least turn her head so that she can see Raven, “Thanks.” she says softly. 

After a bit more encouragement from the rest of the table we manage to get her upright again and back to her happy, smiley self. Meaning I can return to eating my lunch and trying to plan what I'm going to do about the note. 

“Hey Mont, you ok?” Harper asks pulling me from my daze. “Hmm, yea just thinking.” I tell her. “Are you sure? You've been really vacant all lunch?” she pushes, “That's a good point actually, has something happened?” Clarke asks instantly snapping into full on mom mode, causing me to roll my eyes. “Honestly nothing bad happened, I'm fine,” I assure them “It's just… I got this just now.” I say pulling the note out of my pocket and dropping it in the middle of the table. “What is that?” Jasper asks grabbing it before anyone else had a chance and reading it “Dude.” he says passing the note along to Clarke. “Awww, do you know who it's from?” she coos and I want the earth to swallow me up. “Haha maybe it's from Bellamy.” Raven jokes elbowing me in the side and making obscene faces at me. “Why on earth would you say that?” Clarke demands, “Because him and his friends were eyeing us up last week.” Raven explains. “It's not from Bellamy!” I exclaim quietly just as Harper finishes and awws “That's so sweet! Are you going to text them?” she asks. “How do you know it's not Bellamy?” Raven asks egging me on to tell them what I know but I just chew on my bottom lip awkwardly for a minute and glance around the room looking for any sort of escape from this conversation. I flush and quickly look down when my eyes snag on Miller and his friends at a table not too far from us. “You were looking at them weren't you?” Clarke demands “If it is Bellamy don't text him, you deserve way better than that dickhead.”

“You know who it is don't you?” Harper asks, always the one who could easily read the emotions written on my face, causing the others to gasp and demand answers. “Thanks a lot Harper.” I say sarcastically but she just grins at me knowing that I needed a push to talk about this. “Fine, I'm pretty confident I know who sent it.” I admit. “Who?!” they all gasp in unison and I take a deep breath, “Miller.” I whisper. “Nathan Miller?!” Clarke whispers way too loudly for my taste, “Omg that explains why they were staring at us then, he's totally crushing on you!” Raven exclaims. Panicked I look over at their table to ensure they can’t hear any of our conversation. Luckily none of them seem to be looking our way, so for the first time I thank god for the canteen being loud and crowded. “Wow I wouldn't have guessed that.” Jasper says, “Me neither, but I guess you shouldn't judge someone before you know them.” Harper agrees.

“Do you like him?” Clarke asks and my brain just pauses for a minute trying to figure out what the answer is. “I don't know? I mean I don't dislike him? But like, we've never talked how do I know if we have anything in common or are even remotely compatible?” I say and then cringe at my obvious word vomit. “Well then text him, get to know him. You don't have decide anything important now.” Clarke says softly. “Yea you never know, maybe he'll be a great boyfriend.” Raven winks at me, but is cut off by Harper shooting her a glare “Not helping Reyes.” causing her to put her hands up in mock surrender. “Yea come on dude, you're always telling me to talk to the girls I like.” Jasper says encouragingly, and he's right. Much as I hate to admit it. “Eugh, you're right that is always my advice.” I sigh and he cheers “What was that? Didn't catch it.” he teases.

“So you're gonna text him then?” Harper asks and then my stomach sinks. Shit. “I can't. I don't have a phone.” I say. “Oh, yea I'm still really sorry about that.” Jasper says awkwardly, and I can't really blame him, he didn't do it on purpose. “So? Tell him that?” Harper says, looking at us both like we're idiots. “Say what? I don't currently have a phone as it had a glass beaker of acid dropped on it. That'll sound really normal.” I say probably a bit too sarcastically. Harper and Clarke then stare at me like I'm a complete idiot, “Just tell him your phone is broken?...” Harper says disbelievingly and oh, yea, that makes a lot more sense and I really was being an idiot. But then I'd have to go up and talk to him. Which would be incredibly awkward, especially with his friends around. I don't think I'd actually be able to form the words out loud. Plus I'm still not even sure what I want to say to him.

So how do I get to know him without texting him back or going up to him in person? Then I can almost imagine a cartoon light bulb appearing over my head. A note. That's what started this whole conundrum, so I can just let him decide on the next move. So I reach down and rummage around in my bag like a man on a mission. I open up the notebook and tap my pen against my lips in thought. What should I write?

“What are you doing?” Clarke asks, “Writing him a note back.” I explain grinning at my genius idea. “Such a cop out dude.” Jasper says laughing. “Nah I think it's cute.” Clarke says. “So what just a simple ‘Sorry I don't have a phone at the moment it’s broken’?” I ask nervously. “Wow how romantic.” Harper says and I roll my eyes at her. “Yeah, but you don't want to go too romantic do you? You just want to get to know him right?” Clarke contemplates. “Yea? Cool.” I say writing it out neatly on the page. But Harper has a bit of a point it does look too much like a blatant no. I stare at it trying to figure out what the note needs that I'm willing to put out there. I think back back to his own note and remember the little p.s. on the end. Smiling, I doodle a little Pacman with a line of dots leading to a sad looking ghost. There much better.

Although then I realise that I don't know where his locker is, so an alternate delivery method is required. Struck with inspiration I start folding it into a paper airplane, even though everyone starts laughing at me. “You coming?” I ask when it's complete. We all clamber to our feet and collect all our stuff together. I eye up their table and plan where I'm going to stand as I really don't want to humiliate myself by it hitting someone else or missing entirely.

Nervously I take my aim and then throw. It world through the air and then hits him smack in the face. Well done Monty, brilliant plan I think as I hear the others giggling next to me. I can't help but grin though at his reaction, he literally jumps and glares around him. His eyes snag on mine and thankfully for me soften slightly. I smile nervously and nod down at the paper plane, realising that he might not even think to open it. Luckily he gets the hint and opens it.

“Cute.” I hear Bellamy say reading over Miller's shoulder. “Sickeningly.” Murphy adds grumpily, but I hear him let out a cry of pain a minute later so I presume someone kicked him under the table. “Don't be a dick Murph.” I hear Bellamy scold.

I smile. The ball’s in his court now.


	3. Distractions

I was a bundle of nerves today. I wasn't timetabled to be in in the morning so I had a lie in and then tried to work on some of my college work, but I was struggling to focus so it wasn't a particularly productive morning. I was a bit distracted as I know that Miller got my note and I've got to wait to see what he's going to do now.

Once I get into college I have a bit of free time before my lesson, so I head over to the canteen as that's the most likely place Jasper and the others will be. I go to text Jasp to ask where they are and reach into my pocket to grab my phone, only to find an empty pocket and sigh after a moment of intense panic. I really need to sort a new phone out, I feel like I've lost a limb.

I push the doors into the canteen and scan the room for my friends, but before I can spot them I crash into another body. “Oomph sorry.” I say backing away. “Sorry I wasn't paying attention…” Miller says trailing off as he looks up from his phone to look at me. His face flushes slightly and I bite my lip to stop a grin. He looks conflicted for a moment as if he’s considering say something more but is interrupted by Jasper calling across the room “Hey Monty we're over here!” and I smile apologetically “I should erm go.” I mumble nodding towards my friends. “Oh yea… of course.” He agrees and awkwardly moves to the side, but I move the same way and we stumble a couple times before he stands sideways “You go.” he laughs and I grin “see you.” I say finally moving past him.

“Was that Miller I saw you talking to?” Jasper say smirking at me the minute I get close to the table. “Yes but we didn't really talk, we just bumped into each other.” I say trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “Quite literally by the looks of it.” Clarke teases, “Ooh shut it.” I say laughing.

Somehow they manage to keep on embarrassing me for the entire time I'm sat with them. It's quite impressive even for them. So I'm relieved when I can make the excuse of leaving for my lesson to escape and allow my face to return to its natural colour. I end up leaving a bit early, so I decide to take the slightly longer, more circuitous route to class so that I'm not awkwardly hanging around by the door. Definitely not because it takes me past my locker and part of me is hoping there's another note for me or a certain boy will be there. No definitely not.

I scan the busy corridor for the now familiar beanie and dark skin, but I can't see him. I try not to feel disappointed, I mean what would he be doing just hanging around here, that would be really weird. He probably has class anyway. I still can't stop myself from glancing at my locker when I pass, my heart beating faster than it should. I nearly trip over my own feet because another note is taped on my locker door. Fuck. I speed walk the last few steps and pull the note off and unfold it carefully.

‘Meet me after lessons? In the car park?’

Is scrawled across the paper with a little doodle of a paper airplane flying in the top corner and a pac-man ghost wearing a beanie in the bottom corner that melts my heart. This boy is adorable. My brain quickly scans through the list of things planned to figure out if there's anything happening today, but as far as I can think I have a free day once my maths lesson finishes. So now it's just whether I want to put myself out there or not.

I make it to Maths just in the nick of time and Raven smirks at me when I slide into the seat next to her. “And I thought I was the one who was always late.” she teases and I give her my most unimpressed stare “You still are the one who's always late.” I tell her and she laughs.

I try and concentrate during the lesson but when Raven nudges me for the third time to complain about me tapping my pen, I know I haven't done a very good job. After what seems like forever we can finally pack up our stuff ready to go. Raven looks at me strangely just before I grab my bag, “You doing ok?” she asks for which I appreciate the thought but I really don't want to talk about all this yet so I just smile “Yea I'm fine.” I don't think she believes me but she lets me go anyway.

I work my way over to the car park, but as I get there I realise I don't know where abouts I'm actually meant to meet him. I panic at that thought and stand awkwardly by the entrance twiddling my fingers. I scan the nearby cars to see if I can see him around and luckily I spot him perched on the bonnet of a car not far from me. I go to walk over but then see that Bellamy and Murphy are stood next to him so I grind to a sudden halt.

“You'll be fine, quit worrying you're stressing me out.” I hear Bellamy tell him and smile. “I know I know.” Miller tells him rolling his eyes. “Are we done being supportive now?” Murphy asks and I see Miller roll his eyes fondly, “Technically you haven't done anything supportive yet?” he jokes. “I'm here aren't I?” Murphy scoffs “Now come on Bell, leave the lovebird alone I need a cigarette.” I flush at the implications of his statement and I'm so glad they don't know I'm stood here. “You know you really shouldn't smoke, it does horrible things to your insides.” Bellamy lectures as they start to move away from the car. “I know, you tell me every time I smoke.” Murphy sighs, “Well maybe one day it'll actually sink into that skull of yours” Bellamy complains, “Unlikely" Murphy sighs.

Once they start to move away Miller takes his phone out his pocket presumably to check the time as he puts it back a few seconds after checking it. Now that Bellamy and Murphy have moved out of sight, I take a deep breath and take a few steps forward and he quickly spots me. His face lights up adorably and he pushes himself off his perch on the car bonnet. “Hey! You came.” he grins, “Oh thank god, it is you then.” I say in relief and he laughs. “What, worried you weren't going to get to spend time with me?” He says wiggling his eyebrows at me obnoxiously. “No I was worried I threw the note in the wrong person's face!” I exclaim, “But you got a note back! You wouldn't have got that if it wasn't me.” he says, “Could have been a coincidence.” I say stubbornly. “Fine,” he says throwing his hands up in surrender and I internally cheer “But it was me, so you don't have to worry your pretty head anymore.” he teases and I blush. My brain fumbles for a smart comeback but it's still stumbling over his words.

Thankfully he puts me out of misery and moves on. “So you got any plans for the rest of the day?” he asks and I can see a flicker of his own nerves in his face, which helps to put me at ease. At least we're both a little out of our comfort zones. But for some reason with him I feel like I should give it a chance. So I grin at him “You tell me.” I say and he grins widely. “You do now.” he says striding to the passenger side of his car.

He opens the door and flourishes his arms out “Your carriage awaits.” he jokes and I shake my head at him, but I pause for a minute considering if I want to get in the car with someone I don't actually know that well. “Don't you trust me?” he jokes with an expression that couldn't be described as innocent. Screw it I think. This is a risk I want to take. So I roll my eyes at him and clamber into the car. “Where to?” I ask once he's back in the driver’s seat. “Arcade?” he asks with a grin.


	4. Pizza bets

Miller plugged his phone into the stereo with the aux cord, scrolled through for a minute until he found what he was looking for and put it on. I jumped when it came out loud, but Miller quickly reached for the dial to turn it down, until it was just quiet background music. “Sorry I forgot we had it that loud this morning.” He says looking flustered. “It's alright.” I laugh. “It's because Murphy shotgunned, if it had been Bell you'd have been fine.” He explains, starting up the car and driving out the college’s car park. “Sure blame Murphy for it.” I tease and he gasps in outrage, “It is his fault, everything is didn't you know?” he jokes. “I was unaware,” I laugh.

“So why would it have been better with Bellamy?” I ask curiously. “Ooh he tends to put random classical music on, which tends to be at a safer volume than Murphy's heavy metal.” Miller explains chuckling at the thought of his friends. “Classical?...” I ask stunned, “Yea don't believe his reputation, underneath he's a complete history nerd.” He says grinning. “Well people always seem to surprise me.” I say trying to merge his reputation with the apparent history buff he was to his friends in my head. “Don't even get him started on the Library of Alexandria, he can talk anyone to sleep about that tragedy.” He continues. I laugh “Can't say I know a lot about that.” I say trying to recall anything I can actually remember about the story. “Lucky you.” He jokes.

“So are you all secretly nerds or is that just him?” I ask teasingly, “You'll have to judge for yourself won't you?” he replies smoothly, but I can see the slight flush on his cheeks contrasting his confident demeanor. “Suppose I will.” I say, adjusting slightly in my seat to get more comfy. “Let's see you could be a huge anime fan… or an avid kpop listener… or a science geek, but nah that's me… or a bookworm? Clearly you know a lot about the library of Alexandria.” I tease watching as he cycles through spluttered gasps of laughter at my attempts. “You've got me, you've uncovered my secret.” He jokes.

It wasn't long before we pulled up into the arcade car park. Once Miller's parked, we sit for a moment in silence, then I glance over at him and grin. “Ready to get crushed?” I ask brashly, “Oh you're on!” He replies confidently. We grin and clamber out of the car towards the arcade.

We scan the store to see what machines are available and unfortunately see a couple small groups of kids already here. “Eugh, people.” Miller groans beside me. “Not a people person I assume.” I chuckle and he just stares at me looking so unimpressed I can't help but laugh. “Come on, it looks quieter over there.” I say grabbing his wrist and leading him through the store to an emptier corner. Luckily he doesn't resist and just follows me along. Once we make it into a little bubble of space, I let go of his wrist and scan the machines. I choose us a decent multiplayer game “This one alright?” I ask and he nods, “let's do this.” He says as we get set up.

Our competitive sides came out more as the afternoon went on and more games were played. He’d managed to beat my best score on Pacman, which I couldn't decide whether to be impressed at or upset about losing. It wasn't all in his favour though, as I aced his score on space invaders. We ended up pretty neck and neck, when our rumbling stomachs started to make a case for leaving soon.

“So do you fancy getting some food before I drop you home?” Miller asks, raising an eyebrow when my stomach growls again before I can reply. “I think that's a pretty clear yes from me.” I say laughing at the perfect timing. “Cool, I think there's a pizza place round the corner?” he suggests, which sounds great so I nod. “Before we go though, I challenge you to a game of air hockey!” I exclaim and he grins glancing over at the table. “It's finally free then? It's nearly always had people on when I've looked.” He says. “Yep.” I say popping the ‘p’ sound at the end “The people using it just left so let's grab it quick.” So we hurry over and get to just before another couple and grin triumphantly at each other.

“So what do I get if I beat your challenge?” Miller asks smirking and I make a show of thinking about it. “How about… loser pays for the pizza?” I tease and he grins widely. “Deal!” He agrees enthusiastically.

We load the money into the machine and both get into our battle stances at either end. The timer counts down and then the puck is released and we’re off in a flurry of movement. Our competitiveness grows as we begin a rally, batting the puck backwards and forwards. After an intense battle I manage to sneak one past his defence and woop in triumph. Immediately regretting it when I almost miss the puck being released again and almost lose a point. He redoubles his efforts after my slip up and soon gets a puck in the goal, to my great disappointment. I try and recover quickly but clearly he's in his element as, much as I hate to admit it, I'm struggling to keep up with his attacks. We end up neck and neck for most of the game. Scores slowly increasing. Until the countdown beeps of the machine go off signalling our final frenzy. I think I might just be able to claim my victory, when he slides a puck straight past my goal just before the game ends. Causing me to collapse in defeat on the table and sigh.

“I can’t believe you beat me…” I mumble face still mostly hidden in my arms. I hear him shuffling about “I probably should have mentioned I'm pretty good at it.” he says sounding slightly embarrassed. “Dude. Be proud of that skill.” I joke, springing back up and grinning. “I would challenge you to a rematch but I might collapse from starvation then.” I say collecting my things and getting ready to go. “Oh yea, pizza.” he says looking slightly confused at my sudden burst of energy. “Yep I do owe you one now don't I?” I tease as we walk out. “Wait, for real?” he asks. “Of course, a deal's a deal.” I state obviously. “Oh thanks then.” he says smiling softly at me.


	5. Notifications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say that I really appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this, it does mean a lot so thanks xx

The day after we went out together, I wake up late savouring the joy of Saturday mornings with no commitments. I grin thinking back over it all and can feel my cheeks heating up slightly. I hide my face under the quilt and curl up, grinning widely.

I reach out of my quilt cocoon to my bedside table to grab my phone and come up empty. No phone. I jerk up and frantically search the floor around the bed, before remembering I haven't bought a new one yet. I groan in annoyance into my pillow and contemplate the benefits of getting out of bed to get my laptop.

Eventually my disconnect from the internet weighs out and I stumble out of bed, quickly retrieving the laptop and climbing back beneath the covers. Once booted up I blearily check my notifications. A bunch of group chat notifications which I decide it's too early to deal with; what look like butt texts from Jasper; a concerned message from Raven; and… a friend request.

 

‘Nathan Miller sent you a friend request’.

 

“Fuck” I whisper, ignoring the other notifications and clicking on his profile. The profile picture is clearly him, but a slightly younger version suggesting there won't be many posts on his page. I smile at his still grumpy face and that even back then he was wearing a beanie. I scroll down but his privacy settings mean only the odd old profile picture is visible. My mouse hovers over the ‘accept friend' button, then feel ridiculous, being friends on Facebook doesn't mean anything so I shouldn't be worrying about this. *click* ‘You are now friends with Nathan Miller’.

I grin, hiding my face with the quilt. Then the panic sets in. Do I have to message him now? Would that be weird? How would I even start that conversation? What if he thinks I'm boring? I cocoon myself again and groan. Crushes suck. Interrupting my internal crisis is a beep from my laptop. I reluctantly uncurl and peer at the notification. I blink and read it again. It still says I have a message from Miller. I can't help but grin as I sit up to reply, but pause, is it too quick? I don't want to come off as desperate, but then who the fuck wants to talk to someone who takes forever to reply? So I ignore that thought and click onto the chat.

 

Nathan Miller

‘Hey! How are you today?’

 

‘Hey I'm good thanks, considering doing work but procrastination sounds so much more fun, you? 

 

‘Good thanks, pah I'm not even kidding myself Saturday is a day to chill not do work’

 

‘Isn't that meant to be Sundays? :P’ 

 

‘Only if you’re religious. Nothing fun happens on Sundays’ 

 

‘Haha no parties on Sundays’

 

‘Exactly, only hangovers’ 

 

‘The perfect time to do college work’

 

‘Ok fair, but no wild parties for me tonight so it'll be fine. I only have Murphy and Bell coming over to bug me tonight’ 

 

‘Sounds fun :’) I am actually going out tonight!’

 

‘Wow, where to?’ 

 

‘I think it’s a girl Clarke's friends with? I'm not 100% sure’

 

‘Well planned then. Hope you have fun’

 

‘Thanks! So I probably should aim to at least do SOME work today’

 

‘Good luck with that. So what A-levels are you doing?’  

 

‘Chemistry, Physics and Maths. You?’

 

‘Sounds smart. I'm doing English language, English literature and Psychology’ 

 

‘Ha you are a bookworm then aren't you?’

 

‘...maybe. Which makes you the mad scientist by your choices’

 

‘I'll settle for that, me and Jasper have done enough crazy shit over the years to earn that’

 

Hahaha I'll have to hear about some of those!’

 

* _ later in the day _ *

By the evening me and Miller had been chatting on and off for most of the day, he had done a very good job at distracting me from my work, which I'm sure I will regret tomorrow but I can't seem to care right now. I'd said goodbye for now though, as without my phone I won't be able to message till tomorrow.

I hear the doorbell go and head downstairs. I open the door to see Jasper’s grinning face. “Hey dude!” He says, “Hey there.” I grin back at him. “You ready to go?” he asks, “Yep, let's go” I say moving outside and shutting the door behind me.  

We get into the car and I see the collection of booze we'd collected over the last few days. “Well this’ll be a fun party,” I say gesturing to it. “Of course, any party we go to is going to be fun!” Jasper replies smirking.

It doesn't take us long to get the address we were given, there's already quite a few cars parked outside and I can hear the music blaring from inside already. We pick up the alcohol, lock the car and head inside.

We're quickly greeted by Clarke and Raven who were already here and they lead us further into the house to the kitchen. “Shall I do the honours?” Jasper asks grabbing the cups off the side. “No way dude, you know we don’t let you bartend when we're sober. Your drinks are lethal.” Raven says snatching the cups off him and pouring out our drinks herself. “You guys are no fun.” Jasper pouts, but quickly cheers up when handed his drink. 

“Hey! Sorry I must have missed you coming in.” A girl says peering round the kitchen door, and I notice Clarke lighting up. “This is Lexa guys, it's her party.” Clarke tells us realising that we haven't met before, “These are my friends Raven, Jasper and Monty.” She continues, pointing at each of us as we wave hello. “Nice to meet you all.” Lexa says “Make yourself at home, but try not to break anything or my flatmates will be pissed!” She tells us and we all pointedly look at Jasper. “What?! Why are you all looking at me?” He protests, but we just roll our eyes at him.

As a group we make our way into the living room and make ourselves comfy, although Lexa opts to perch on the arm of the couch that Clarke is sat on. I glance at Raven and raise my eyebrow glancing at the two of them. She smirks back at me and winks. I can guess why Clarke wanted to come to this party so much now.

The evening goes on and the drinks keep coming, everyone is getting giggilier and people  are getting closer. By this point Lexa is basically on Clarke's lap and Raven has disappeared to who knows where with some guy she knew. Which leaves me with Jasper. Who is currently a sad mopey drunk, whining about Maya. “Why doesn't she like me?” he whines, and for not the first time I tell him “It’s because you haven't even talked to her.” Before he can start up again I make an excuse to go to the kitchen to grab a drink, hoping he will forget about the conversation.

Luck appears to be on my side tonight, as after I get back he is soon curling up on the sofa, although is still mumbling incoherently about the (current) love of his life. I lie back with a sigh of relief and stare up at the ceiling. This gets boring fast. I turn to face Jasper and pause to assess how easily he would wake up. I decide I should be safe, so I reach across and ever so gently pull his phone out of his jacket pocket and thank god that he doesn't keep it in his jean’s pockets.

I have my fingerprint set on his phone so I have no trouble getting in and then go on Chrome and open up an incognito browser. I find Facebook and after only a couple failed attempts, get into my profile. Opening up my messages I click on the chat and begin typing.

 

Nathan Miller

‘Nateeee’

‘Im bored’

‘ people hav3 left me to make out’

‘whyyyy’

‘:( :( :(‘

 

‘Well hello. Aw, are you feeling left out?’ 

 

‘yeaaaa’

‘why cant they hang out with me(‘

 

‘That is inconsiderate of them’

 

‘it is’

 

‘Surely someone is not making out?’ 

 

‘jasp passed out and Harper left :(‘

 

‘Poor you’

 

‘at least your not making out with anyone and can talk to me’ 

 

‘asdfghjkl’

‘(Bellamy) Can confirm, no making out happening here’

‘Sorry! Ignore him’

‘Good’

 

‘Do you think you should maybe have some water and then some sleep?’ 

 

‘whyyy’

 

‘I think you might need it'

 

‘euggghhhh’

‘fine’

‘night’

‘Goodnight Monty’


	6. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason this chapter took sooo much editing and revising for it to sound right, so I hope you like the finished result! Even if it is quite dialogue heavy. Xx

Monday morning. I don't know how I manage to stumble out of bed and make it to college before my lesson starts, but somehow I do. Deciding that today is going to be a loss, I just try and appear to be paying attention to the teacher and promise myself I'll go over it all when it's uploaded online.

I make it through that first lesson and during my short break I head to the canteen to grab a coffee to try and keep myself from sleeping through the rest of the day. In the corridor leading up to the canteen there's a small group around one of the lockers. “Ah the man himself!” Is said shocking me out of my daydream. “Hmm?” I murmur looking up to see Raven smirking at me and the rest of our friends grinning at me. “What have you done?” I sigh in resignation. “Us?!” Jasper cries “You're the one that's been keeping secrets from us.” I blink confusedly at him. Harper sighs and pulls me further into the group and points to my locker, where a new note is stuck.

‘Want to meet up again? Same time and place’

Is written on the note, with doodles of pizza and the space invaders aliens on the edges. “ah” I say. “Ah indeed! Meet up again? Dude!” Jasper says outraged. “Yea… I probably should have mentioned that.” I admit. “Tell us everything!” Raven says practically vibrating with excitement. “We just went to the arcade on Friday.” I reluctantly tell them. “Er that doesn't count as anywhere near the details we want.” Raven tells me, “Well… if you want more, then I need coffee first.” I tell them and walk away towards the canteen, knowing they will follow me in.

After queuing up, I am finally sat at a table with the hot cup in cradled in my hands and I simply sit and breathe in the warmth. Letting the caffeine wake my brain back up. “Alright I think we've been very patient, what happened with you and Miller?” Jasper asks impatiently, fingers tapping restlessly on the tabletop. “I told you, we went to the arcade and then got pizza.” I tell them, already anticipating the unimpressed stares they give me.  “And…” Raven says gesturing for me to elaborate. “It was fun. Also he is insanely good at air hockey.” I tell them. “He beat you?!” Jasper cries out in shock. “I know right! I'll have to get some extra practise in.” I exclaim.

“Why didn't you tell us though? ...He didn't do anything right?” Clarke asks worriedly, “What, no! He was lovely.” I quickly tell them. “Look it's just, this is new and… I can see it going somewhere, but I still don't really know what I feel.” I try and explain. “You needed time to process what you felt, that's normal.” Harper states and I smile at her for understanding. “Yea, we've been messaging over the weekend and like, he's surprisingly easy to talk to?” I tell them and Jasper oohs at me, “Someone's got a crush!” he exclaims. “Aurgh, shut up Jasper.” I say hiding my face in my hands.

“So… did he kiss you goodnight?” Raven asks smirking at me, “What no? We've only met up once Raven!” I say, jolting back up. “So?” Raven jokes. I realise my panic must show on my face, when her smile drops. “Hey, I'm mostly just joking Mont. Everyone moves at different paces.” She says reassuringly. “Exactly, fuck society’s rules and expectations.” Clarke adds supportively. “But that'll make it really awkward!” I say collapsing with a sigh onto my arms on the table. “There there.” Harper says patting my back comfortingly. “I'm afraid that's the joy of relationships Monty.” Clarke says, “eugh” I murmur.

“So are you going to meet up with him again?” Harper asks and I pause to think. “Yeah,” I say softly “I want to see where this goes.” Collectively they all “aww” at me. “But… I mean I've not really done relationships before, I have no clue what I'm doing.” I sigh, trying to explain my worries about this situation. “Okay, deep breaths Monty.” Clarke says calmly. “Yea relationships are great dude!” Jasper says but is then promptly elbowed by Harper. “Ow what was that for?” he asks, rubbing his side. “It's not always that simple.” Harper explains. “You’ve just got to take is as it comes Monty, make sure you don't push your boundaries and be honest with him. That's all you can do really.” Clarke says already making me feel better about everything. “Guess so.” I admit.

“Why can't we just skip the awkward bit and get to the sappy romantic bit?” I joke. The others snigger, “Ha. If only.” Jasper agrees. “You'd probably benefit from a time skip Jasp, you might actually have talked to Maya by then.” Raven says smirking. “Hey! I Resent that!” he says jokingly outraged, “You guys are so mean to me.” he sulks and we all laugh. “Aww, poor little Jasper, bullied by all his friends.” Raven jokes and he just huffs. “I should replace the lot of you.” he complains under his breath.

Clarke glances at her phone and then looks up questioning at us. "Don't you have class, like, now?" She asks. "Shit. Yea." Jasper swears, grabbing his backpack up off the floor and almost whacking Harper in the face with it. So reluctantly I start moving. “See you guys later.” I say. “We love you really Jasper!” Clarke calls out as we're walking away and they all blow kisses at us. I laugh and Jasper rudely gestures back at them, only causing us all to laugh harder. I realise I'm glad that they all properly know about Nate now, as their opinion really matters to me and it feels a lot more real now. Even if that is scarier.


	7. Definitely not straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, exams were a bit mental. All done now thou!

Classes finally finish and me and Jasper make our way out of the class. “So time for the big date huh?” Jasper says, nudging my side with his elbow. “Oh shut up Jasp.” I say elbowing him back, causing him to stumble slightly and laugh at me. “Aw are you nervous?” he asks. “God yes.” I sigh, dramatically throwing my arms around his neck. “Damn warn a guy next time.” He jokes but still wraps his arms around me to stop me falling. We stumble along the corridor limbs all tangled together and both a giggling mess. 

Pushing through the double doors to the car park and we stumble apart. Jasper claps me on the back, “You'll be fine bro.” He says grinning. “Thanks.” I say rolling my eyes at him, feeling so much better than when I left the classroom. “I mean who wouldn't love you?” he teases, pulling me into a hug. “Enough! Get off you oaf.” I say struggling under his arms. Laughing I manage to wriggle out and shove him away, “Go on, fuck off then,” I joke. “Argh my poor broken heart!” He exclaims clutching at his heart and staggering away dramatically.

I take a second to compose myself and then head further into the car park, quickly spotting Nate perched on his car bonnet again. He's bent over on his phone, so he doesn't look up until I've walked a bit closer to him. “Hey.” He says hopping off the car bonnet with a grin. “Well hello to you too.” I say back. He walks round and opens the passenger with a flourish “Your carriage awaits.” He says grinning and I roll my eyes at him trying to ignore the growing heat in my cheeks as I climb into the car.

Once Nate is sat is the driver's seat, he turns to me, “Where do you want to go today then?” he asks. “Ooh my choice today is it?” I ask. “Yep. What's it to be?” he says, “I don't know, how do you feel about bowling or something?” I suggest. “Sounds good to me.” He agrees, starting up the engine. “You know where the alley is? Because not gonna lie I don't.” I tell him. “Don't worry I know the place.” He laughs.

“Please don't tell me you're a whiz at bowling and are going to beat me?” I ask considering he knows where where he's going without directions. “Depends how good you are I guess.” He says. “Well I haven't been since I was a little kid so I'm gonna say not great.” I admit, not even sure why I suggested bowling in the first place. “What really?” he asks shocked. “Yea? Why do you go a lot?” I ask. He shuffles slightly in his seat and there's a slight pause before he responds, “I mean not very recently, but I used to go a lot with my ex boyfriend.” He explains. Knowing how even when people know your sexuality it can still be nerve wracking the first couple times it comes up so I make sure to not make a big deal out it. “Ah, so what you're saying is you're going to kick my butt at bowling.” I say grinning at him, his eyes flit to mine from the road and I see his lips twitch slightly before focusing back on the road. “Yea I guess that is what I'm saying.” He says shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

“Well maybe I'll surprise you with my skills, I mean I am a pro bowler on the Wii.” I joke and he lets out a surprised laugh. “So that's how you spend your weekends then!” He says and I grin, “Of course, me and Jasper have put in a lot of practise to get to that level.” I say proudly. For some reason his smile falters slightly at that, “Must take a lot of work.” He says lacking the humour of before. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, trying to connect what I said to his change in mood. “What?” I ask. The silence drags on as I see a slight panic on his face. “Tell me.” I sigh. Finally he sighs and I can see him contemplating how to phrase whatever it is he wants to tell me. “Erm.. You and Jasper. Are you… together?” he finally murmurs, eyes still locked on the road. Now it's my turn to let out a startled laugh, shocking Nate slightly. “No we're not together. He's my best friend, we've known each other since we were kids.” I explain, cheeks flushing when I see him smile at my words. “Sorry, you just seemed so close today and I doubted myself.” He says sounded slightly nervous. “Ooh that,” I laugh “Don't worry about it, your not the first to ask. Jasper is most definitely straight though, and it’s just not like that.” Nate grins that happy smile, “Nice to know. So what about you, are you ‘definitely straight’?” He jokes and my heart jumps at the implications of him asking. “Nope, not straight.” I say shyly.

I look up out of the window and see the signs for the bowling alley. Nate signals in, and starts looking for a space to park. Luckily as it's not the weekend it doesn't look too busy. Spotting a drive-in drive-out spot he quickly turns in, pulling the handbrake on and turning the ignition off.

Deciding that if I don't say it now then I'll lose my opening and chicken out of telling him I speak up “Hey, erm before we go in.” He looks over at me and waits. I breathe in and tell him. “So I should probably say, I'm bi asexual.” I say. Feeling ridiculous at how much saying that actually stresses me out, but that doesn't change that it does. His face is blank for a second and I worry I'm going to have to explain it all, but then his face lights up in realisation. “That actually makes a lot of sense.” He says, “What do you mean?” I ask confused, whatever I had expected him to say it wasn't that. “Sorry! It's just some of the things you’ve said, knowing you don't feel sexual attraction kind of explains it.” He explains. “Okay…” I say laughing awkwardly. “Not a bad thing, it's fine. Shit I'm bad at this.” He continues clearly realising how it sounded. His awkwardness makes me laugh though which clears the air a bit. “So, are you still open to relationships?” he asks cautiously. “Yea, providing they're cool with me being ace.” I agree. “Okay.” He says thoughtfully “Shall we bowl?” He asks and I let out a startled laugh, “Yea let's do that.” I say grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm basing Monty's experiences a lot on my own, which I actually first discovered reading a different ace fic. So I guess I'm trying to give back? I dunno. Anyway any questions about asexuality I will be happy to answer xx


	8. Bowling balls and burgers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I am so sorry I have no idea how it's taken me this long! But yea hello I'm back!

We walk over to the door, my heart still pounding in my chest. Although when Nate grabs the door and swings it open, gesturing for me to go in, I can't help but duck my head to hide a soft smile.

Taking in the worn, patterned carpet of the reception area, the neon lights and the sounds of pins crashing reminds me of trips out with my Dad when I was young. Although this reminiscing does makes me trip over my own feet and crash forward. Strong arms grab me before I can properly fall though, but I still groan at my own clumsiness. “Thanks.” I murmur, straightening up. “Nice trip?” he asks, somehow keeping a straight face. “Wonderful, thanks.” I say rolling my eyes at him.

“Hello and welcome, how can I help?” a bored voice comes from the counter. Luckily Nate takes charge as I'm not really sure what to ask for, and would probably mess it up. “Alley for two, please.” he says and the guy behind the counter presses a few buttons on the monitor. “How many games?” he asks. At this Nate turns back to me, “What do you think? Best of 3?” he asks and I nod. “3, please.” Nate tells the guy, who inputs that and gives us the price. Nate reaches for his wallet but I get there first, “Let me, it was my idea.” I tell him, stepping up to the counter. “You don't have to? I don't mind.” he says, looking conflicted. “It's fine, you can buy dinner.” I tell him with a grin and tap my card on the machine. Nate just huffs at that. “Let me just check your shoes.” The guy behind the counter says, lifting himself up so he can peer over at our feet. “eh they'll be fine, unless you want bowling shoes?” he asks doubtfully. “Nah we're fine.” Nate says. “Sure, lane 11 then.” he replies.

Heading over to the alleys we quickly find our lane, it's pretty quiet there's only a couple other people here apart from us. We input our names into the scoreboard and I wander over to the balls, testing out their weight. I chose a pink one that feels about the right weight, trying to adjust my balance to it. Nate choses a green one and then glances at mine and bites his lip. “Here, you'll have a better hold if you move those fingers there,” he explains gesturing to my hand “like this.” he says showing how he's holding his bowling ball. “Oh, whoops.” I mumble, switching my fingers around to how he suggested. “That does actually feel better.” I admit and he laughs. “And I thought you were a pro.” He teases and I scoff, “Just you wait.” I tell him remarkably more confident than I actually feel at my bowling skills.

“You want to start then? If you're so confident.” Nate asks with a smirk and I roll my eyes and glare at him jokingly. “Hmm.” I say pouting at him “I suppose I could give it a go.” To which he grins “Yeah! That's the spirit.”

I pick the bowling ball up again and walk over to the edge of the lane, while he moves and leans against the seats to watch. “Eugh this is going to be so embarrassing.” I murmur under my breath and hear a slight chuckle from behind me. “You'll be fine, and even if you're not very good it doesn't matter.” He says comfortingly, which I scoff at but it's a nice thought.

Lining it up, I go for it and throw the bowling ball. It doesn't immediately gutter, so it's a good start. It knocks 5 pins down and I cheer! “Nice shot!” Nate says clapping for me. I laugh, “Are you going to do that every time I hit a pin?” I ask turning to face him. “Hmm that sounds like a lot of effort, but we'll see.” He says and then actually winks at me. I roll my eyes and turn back to my pins. I manage to just about clip one pin with my throw, which knocks its neighbour down.

“Your turn then.” I tell him, heading over to the seats and perching on the edge. So he stands at the lane and throws. I watch it roll and then start to swerve to the right. It clips a couple of pins on the edge, but only just. Nate groans in response and I sigh in sympathy “Bad luck.” I tell him. He shrugs, “eh, plenty of time to improve.”

A couple turns go by and the scores stay more similar to what we got in the first go, so I am doing surprisingly well and Nate… is doing less well. I watch as he gutters his ball and groans. “I thought you were gonna beat me at this?” I tease and he just grunts at me. He sinks into the sofa next to me, “I'm normally better than this.” He states. “Sure. Although hey it's not like I mind.” I joke and he rolls his eyes at me, but I can see a little smile so it's fine. “I may have… over-exaggerated my bowling skills.” He says looking slightly embarrassed and I laugh. I raise my eyebrows at him, “What? Trying to impress me?” I ask grinning widely at him. He ducks his head slightly, “Maybe.” He says softly “Is it working?”. I can feel my cheeks heating up at that question. “Oh definitely.” I say, making myself meet his eyes.

“Didn't you say you used to come here a lot?” I ask as I have my next turn. He grunts and watches my pins fall, earning me my first strike. “Yea, he always used to win.” He says as I sit down next to him again. “How long were you together?” I ask and he looks at me weirdly and I suddenly panic that I've said something I shouldn't have. “You want to know about my ex?” He asks. “Errrr” I stutter out, “Is that something I shouldn't ask? I mean it's not important.” I say hoping to backtrack past my question. He shrugs and grunts slightly. “Doesn't bother me, just surprised.” He explains and I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding. “We were together just over a year.” He says as he gets back up to have his next throw.

I cheer as most of the pins fall. “So what happened with you two?” I ask and then realise I've put my foot in it again and asked a really personal question. I look at him apologetically and he just shakes his head at me, luckily looking more amused than annoyed. “Well, I guess we got together the summer before year 11, and it was great when we had the same classes and friends and stuff, but then we chose different colleges and we had to fit in seeing each other. It didn't take long before he got a bit jealous and wanted to know where I was all the time. So we broke up.” he explains. “Ah, I'm sorry.” I say, filing that information away in my brain. “Eh don't be. I don't regret it.” He says and then grins. “So what about you then?” He asks and I guess I should have seen that question coming. “I asked for that didn't I?” I say grimacing at him causing him to laugh. “Kind of yea.” He agrees. “Eugh fine.” I sigh dramatically. “I mean there's really not much to tell. I dated Harper for a while way back in like year 7, but that was more because everyone started dating and it was easier to go along with it, you know?” I tell him and he nods. “Yea people's expectations can be a bitch.” He agrees and I let out an embarrassing snort of a laugh.

The next few rounds go by in a blur and somehow our scores start to even out, making both of us more competitive. By the final round we  are neck and neck. My last throw knocks all but one down and we watch on tenterhooks as the final pin wobbles. “YES!” I cry out as it falls and I spin round to see Nate slumping down his seat in defeat. “So close.” He sighs. “My pro bowling status has been defended.” I joke and he looks up at the scoreboard and then at me disbelievingly. “I don't think either of these are the scores of a pro bowler.” He says and we both laugh.

Now that the game is over I'm not sure what to do next, so I stuff my hands in my hoodie pockets and shuffle on my feet slightly. “So food then?” Nate asks hesitantly. “Yea I could eat.” I agree. We slowly amble out of the bowling alley and down the street. Our shoulders keep brushing as we're walking close together, but I can't quite bring myself to increase that space. But then neither is Nate so it can't be a problem. We turn the corner and the glowing McDonald's sign beckons to me and my stomach rumbles in anticipation.

Luckily it's not packed so we claim an electronic ordering machine and he quickly chooses his food. Once added to the basket he stands out the way and gestures for me to add mine. I have to actually flick through the menu as I'm not sure what I fancy today. We're soon sat at a table with food and I quickly dig in to quiet my stomach.

I look up from my food when I feel his foot bump against mine, to see him watching me with a shy smile on his face. He's not moved so I grin and knock his foot back in retaliation. I'm struck by how much of a date this is and how much I like it. My heart rate speeds up and then a loud group of teenagers come in through the door, making me jump and pull back. I see Nate's smile drop slightly and he glanced over at the group . “You ok?” He asks quietly. “Yea yea sorry.” I say but he doesn't look entirely convinced. We eat in silence for a few minutes and I feel stupid for reacting at all.

Nate looks at me looking slightly nervous and then glances around us. “I guess I should have asked already but… are you out?” He asks and I slump down my seat, laying my head on the back of the booth. “My friends know, so that's cool.” I say staring up at the ceiling “but other than that, I guess it's not common knowledge.” I can hear him shuffle slightly but I don't look over. “Okay.” He says, “Do you not want other people to know?” he asks nervously. “Eugh I don't know. I flip between its not relevant so why should I fix what they've assumed about me, to that's just an excuse and I'm just lying by omission.” I explain. “It's a tough one.” He says and I grunt in response. “Word of advice though. There's no time limit on any of this.” He says and I murmur something in agreement. Which is when a fry hits me in the face. I look up glaring at him. “Seriously there's no rush.” He continues completely ignoring my death glares. “Well yea…” I mumble and get another fry thrown at my face. “You tell who you want, when you want.” He says softly and my glare softens until he goes to pick another fry up. “Don't you dare!” I say sitting up, “My face is greasy enough now thanks.” I grumble flicking the crumbs off me. The latest projectile is halted and he laughs. So I just flip him off.

It seems like no time at all till we're back in his car and parked outside my house. “Hey, I had a good time today.” He tells me and I smile. “Me too.” I say softly. Although I can feel my heart pounding. There's a pause then, I don't know what he's expecting now. “I'll see you around then.” He says and I let out a breath. “Definitely. I grin and climb out of the car giving him a little wave. I glance back as I'm walking up the path and he that he's waiting. I unlock the door and turn and wave, at which point he pulls away. I enter the house with an erratic heart and a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to anyone actually still reading this THANK YOU SO MUCH and I hope you like it x

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like my self-indulgent fluff, I have a bunch of chapters already written so updates will follow soon!


End file.
